He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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