remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
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