haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Will exercising make me less horny?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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