I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
i out mim tonsoeep
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