apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
