Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
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