I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
