so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
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