Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
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