i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
