Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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