Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
