The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
why is half of my head shaved?
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
