Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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