i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Randomize
