just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just invented taco cereal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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