On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
