GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
