so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
