READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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