i permit you to call me
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
