just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
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