I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize