ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize
