yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Randomize
