I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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