Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
