His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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