if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
