If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Randomize
