D3 body, D1 cock
the day after is always just damage control
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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