glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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