She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Drunk is a universal language darling
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
