his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Farmville is her only friend.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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