you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
