PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Randomize
