You really coming over, don't trick.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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