We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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