Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize
