Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
