Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have tasted many bathrooms
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
