i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
If that was your dad, he is hot
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Randomize