We won't sleep together?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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