Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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(337): View more from Louisiana

Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.

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(850): View more from Florida

Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.

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(510): View more from California

Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.

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(719): View more from Colorado

Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?

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(331): View more from Illinois

She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy

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