I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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