I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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