New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
