It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The uberlube is also flammable
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
