WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
