Just cropdusted the office
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
