everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
