For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
