yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Randomize