he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
