I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
not ubering you a puppy
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
