He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
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