So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
