i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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